Old Andy bought that Gummi bear as a Christmas present to himself. He figured he deserved it for walking so many dogs. I asked Andy if he ever carried it around like a baby. He said no, before he got a chance to take it around town the damn ants carried it away. That was Old Andy. Andy and I became friends on OKCupid and lovers over United States Postal Service. It wasn’t hard to get Old Andy to come around, what was hard was cleaning all the candy wrappers out of the bed. I once peeled a banana Laffy Taffy wrapper off the back of my leg at work, Old Andy just laughed and said their jokes were the best.
Old Andy didn’t have any friends in New York City, but he had a lot of friends back in New Jersey. Good friends, too, the kind that would pick you up on their four wheeler when you were too drunk to back your car out of the side of the 7/11. Old Andy missed that car, it had four wheels and miles of roof. He figured one day he’d get it out of the Impound, or maybe just let them keep it. He was generous like that. You could often find Old Andy sitting on a park bench in Chelsea, eating a bagel sandwich and watching the dogs go by. He loved bagel sandwiches and said he could speak Dog. I believed him. That was Old Andy.